I hate writing, but I also hate not writing. I wish I could just make it go all away, but like I’ve said before, ideas for stories, for verse, just sits in my head, and like a backed up toilet. The shit just keeps rising, and everything goes to hell. So I just can’t ignore it, I just can’t run away, so I guess I just have to stick my hands in there and clean out the clog.
Somehow
Hemmingway once said “The first draft of anything is shit.” Well, fuck you old man, your dead, and now I’m here, and your words although very true, can’t penetrate into my head. I understand that magic doesn’t just appear from nothing, that writing is ultimately a process that is reworked and refined. Yet, i’m afraid, even now to put anything down. Whether it’s laziness, or lack of imagination, I don’t know, I just don’t know. But what really gets to me is that I don’t give it a really good shot, or any shot for that matter. It’s like having a your first match and dying 10 feet from the ring. I didn’t even get to try. I can’t let it end like this
Not like this.
So I’m going to dig, and dig deep to find the energy, the chutzpah to proceed, and I’m going to at least get into the ring and try.
So maybe one of the problems, is that I’m just unwilling to commit to writing whatever comes into my head. I’m always thinking “that it can be better” or that I can do it with “perfection,” well I am far from from perfection, in everything else in my life, so I’m just going to stop giving a fuck and post whatever and try to at least put words on the screen.
Maybe that’ll work.
Anyway wish me luck!
Whrandom Writings 